Why do we do this?!

By James.

It was no southern ocean story – just a quick coastal trip which should not have taken very long. But it went very wrong, very fast...

Crinan Sailing

In the warmth of the Crinan Hotel it had been an easy decision to sail the boat further up the West Coast of Scotland to meet a family friend for a few days sailing. The weather forecast had seemed fine, but I felt even then that something in the air was not right. Regardless, I let go the lines, secured the deck, left the Crinan Canal Basin and pointed towards Loch Craignish. As I passed Black Rock it occurred to me that determination may be the mother of invention, but it can still get you in an awful lot of trouble.

I was just over two miles out when it came. The wind jumped up several gears, visibility vanished into the night, and the sea became a confused mess. Only then did I admit to myself that it had been a mistake. As I turned the boat to return to safety the wind hit me hard and every wave seemed to try and push me backwards. It was bad enough not being able to claw my way back to shelter, but now the wind, waves, and tide were pushing me into the Dorus Mor and the Corryvreckan Whirlpool beyond it. I was sailing alone, and nobody would be able to help me in time. How quickly situations can deteriorate.

My heart pounded so hard I felt it in my very dry throat, my body quickly tired with the exertion of trying everything I could to move the boat forward, and my mind just found the briefest of moments to ask that question that comes to sailors in times like these: Am I insane? Why?

Why do we come back again and again to the sea. Out here in this sometimes wild and frightening world where there is no guarantee of anything except challenges, mistakes are punished brutally, and where so many souls have never returned from. There must surely be one hell of a reward for such a risk. Well everybody is different, so I can only speak for myself, but I will try and put the inexplicable into words.

First there is the simple breath of fresh sea air that makes you feel truly alive with exhilaration. Healthy and natural, it seems to have healing qualities all of its own. In fact research shows that even being near the sea improves mental health. It is part of nature, and that in itself is beautiful. In an insane world where some people are trying to turn nature into a measurable and neatly packaged commodity, there is a feeling of security in finding the part of it that resists so completely.

There is also the change of rules. Out here there is no real law required, no social niceties needed, and nothing even pretends to be fair. And that’s okay! That is nothing to fear, as I am prepared to sacrifice ‘fair’ for ‘real’. And I am certainly prepared to sacrifice comfort for the opportunity to feel alive. I prefer these rules; they certainly make a lot more sense than anything that has been created so far to define what is yours and what is mine.

Then there is the social scene. As Western capitalism slowly brings an end to any chance of community and true well being, here is a place that cares not for your credit score, your social likes, or your status; it strips it all away to leave the bare you. When Lao Tzu defined Taoism, surely he was thinking of the ocean when he described how all things are connected, dependent upon each other, and there is a mother like quality to something beyond us. It is that nurturing I feel from the sea that surpasses all other feelings of contentedness.

Real People, Real Life Adventure

And that is just the start. Being rocked gently to sleep under a big moon listening to the lapping waves. Laughing until it hurts with the crew at the insane stories that we tell again and again as a ritual to life. Feeling awe at the power of the wind through the helm as it drives us forward when we are sailing in the groove. Playing with the dolphins as they show off in the phosphorescence and remind us of our place.  That glow of arriving at a new destination with the happiness of the voyage and the excitement of what this new land will bring us. And a million more moments that come to me to remind me that I have lived, and it was all worth it.

I still cannot explain what or how I managed to get back into the lock that night; it felt like sheer force of will. And sometimes nature still catches us out even with better weather forecasting, better equipment, and better experience. But just like in life; knowing the ‘why’ you are doing what you do, and believing it in your heart, will nearly always get you through.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”

Friedrich Nietzsche